supernova wears bonnet
by alice hattercandy
Summary: In one big family, there is always a crazy member. Too bad, it is their beautiful, jumping center of their crazy-baloney universe.


**title. **supernova wears bonnet**  
disclaimer. **applied**  
summary. **she is the center of their crazy universe.  
**prompt/s. **pink frills**  
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**note.** this is a companion-fic/sequel-fic, from which story? that i do not know XD thank you for clicking! :))

* * *

**.**

_you are definitely a dangerous disaster, but I am dangerously in love._

**.**

Ichigo opened the front door, relieved to be home with his (crazy!) family. With a bored tone, which concealed his relief and contentment, he called out loudly, "Oi, I'm home."

A thundering sound greeted his yell. Thin brown brow arched as he recognized the sound as rapid footsteps coming down the grand staircase. Shoes slammed hard on the stairs.

The man rubbed the back of his head, tousling his already messy hair. _Damn, how many times did I tell her not to run down the stairs? I'd better hurry before she flies and hit her head._

The last time his wife ran down the stairs, she had tripped, which was not a surprise, fell down and her head hit the floor. He went absolutely crazy, horrified at seeing her facedown on the floor. However, thankfully, she didn't bleed— _damn_,_ he began to wonder if she was _really_ made of _Hyper-Alloy-Mecha-Nuclear-Armor. She only smiled that sunny smile of hers, jumped to her feet and welcomed him with a _glomp_ and a big kiss on his cheek.

_As if I'd let that happen again, damn it._ Hurriedly, Ichigo went over to the foot of the stairs, ready to catch his clumsy wife. But it wasn't Orihime.

"OLD MAN!"

Instantly, his brows snapped together and a vein throbbed. "What the hell." He growled. "Oi, Sakuya, I didn't teach you to _shriek_!"

His twelve year old, orange-haired son, with same chocolate eyes Ichigo had, glared up to him. "I'm not shrieking, old man."

Another vein throbbed, a tic developed on his cheek. _I'm having a taste of my own medicine._ "What did I tell you about respect?" However, Ichigo refused to act like his _dad._ No fake tears. No squealing about rude, loveless sons.

The boy shrugged one shoulder. "Whatever."

Three more veins pulsed.

"Anyway, you have to save Aki!"

Ichigo blinked, now wearing a suspicious frown. "Why is that? Don't tell me you stick his head into the toilet bowl— _again—_ and it got stuck there! You'll make you mother cry!"

Sakuya replied with a mild eye roll. "Geez. This time, you have to save him from _my _mother."

A brow arched sourly. "What the hell? What kind of gag is this, huh? Did she just chuck his very _own _son's head—"

"Don't be stupid."

Ichigo's orange hair went up and twitched. The corner of his mouth jerked irritably. _One more smartass reply from this boy and I'm gonna—_

"She's doing something _worst _than that."

The orange-haired man still looked skeptic, face in a deadpan expression.

"I'm serious! Okaa-san has gone _insane_— well, more insane than normal." His son added the last sentence as an afterthought, shrugging again.

"Brat." Ichigo snapped with no actual venom. "Don't go calling your mother insane."

"But she is!" Sakuya insisted. Ichigo opened his mouth to answer but another voice filled the house.

"Sakuya-nii! Sakuya-nii! You have to save Aki!" Another orange-haired boy came thundering the stairs. Athletically, the second eldest jumped down from the fourth step of the stairs, landing expertly. "You've got to save Aki from Okaa-san! Huh? Yo, Otou-san!"

_Yo? _His sons needed to be severely disciplined. Maybe he should send them over to his Dad. Ichigo looked down to his second eldest, arching a brow as the boy grabbed his shirt and tugged.

"You have to save Aki from Okaa-san!"

By this time, the half of Ichigo's face was twitching. "What are you, Kiseki, a parrot?"

Gray eyes flashed. "I'm not a parrot. Just because I got my hair color from you, it does not mean I am _such_ a girl like you."

Another tic appeared on Ichigo's face, and veins, of different sizes, throbbed all at the same time. "What did you _say?_" he growled, ready to blow his top.

"Kiseki-nii! Kiseki-nii! You have to save Aki!" _Another _boy, with orange-blonde hair, came down the stairs. "Ah? Otou-san! You have to save Aki from Okaa-chan!"

"Where the hell am I?" roared Ichigo, fed up with the farce. "You guys keep repeating the same thing! Did I give birth—" three brows lifted. "I mean, did my _wife _give birth to bunch of parrots?"

"Kazuki's the parrot, Otou-san." Kiseki said with a shrug. The younger boy ignored him, looking up to his father with wide, worried brown eyes.

"Otou-san! You've got to save Aki from Okaa-chan!" Ichigo felt his ears ringing from the repetitive echoes of his sons. "She's gone insane!"

"I keep telling you guys to respect your mother!"

Kazuki looked offended. "Oi, I love Okaa-chan so much, more than _you _love her. And someday, I'll marry her too and—"

Ichigo almost choked on his own saliva. "WHAT THE HELL! You can't marry your _own _mother, Kazuki! Who the hell have you been hanging out with?"

"Well, Urahara-san said that if I love someone, I should marry that person. I love you too, Otou-san, but boys don't marry boys, right? And I love Okaa-chan more than anything else, so I decided to marry her."

_URAHARA-SAN— I WILL KILL YOU! What the fuck have you been teaching to my son? His brain is messed up!_ Ichigo thought in terror.

"But this is not the point!" Kazuki continued, unaware that his previous chatter made Ichigo's brain short circuit in horror. "Okaa-chan is doing something to Aki! And it's… _horrible!_"

Recovering from his shock, Ichigo responded, "Impossible. You are all just exaggerating. If it _is_ horrible, your baby brother would have been screaming like a banshee."

"Kazuki-nii. Oi, Kazuki-nii."

Hearing the familiar farce over and over again, Ichigo groaned. _What the hell is wrong with my family? _He knew his family was crazy, crazier than his family before— his boys _are _all crazy— but this charade was _too_ much. He felt a headache coming on. With a scowl, he turned to his fourth son, Yamato, who had pale-auburn hair and cool brown eyes. Unlike his elder brothers, he didn't thunder down the stairs.

"Oka-san's gone crazy." The nine year old deadpanned.

_Well, at least this one uses a synonym._

"Your mother is neither crazy nor insane. Don't say stupid things." Ichigo snapped irritably.

Yamato rolled his eyes, hands inside his pockets. "See it for yourself, old man."

Ichigo raised a fist, a vein throbbing. "What did _I_ say about respect!"

The four boys shrugged. Ichigo forced himself to inhale and exhale.

"It's not that I don't respect Okaa-san." Yamato continued coolly, "In fact, Okaa-san is my type of woman—"

His brain could not take it anymore.

A particular vein exploded with a _snap_.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN HEARING THESE THINGS?" hollered Ichigo. However, the boys were unfazed, used to their father's weirdness. Silently, with blank faces, they watched their father holler his lungs out. "You don't say _those_ things so easily… about _your_ mother! It's not normal— it's _abnormal!_ Do you understand? She's_ mine_ and she's married to me… AND YOU ALL BRATS HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME WHILE I SPEAK! Sakuya! Kiseki! Kazuki! Yamato!"

"Yeah. Keep it real." Yamato said flatly, sauntering towards the massive living room.

"Yeah. Just go and try to save Aki like a _real_ man." Sakuya added. Kazuki looked sympathetic, while Kiseki shrugged and disappeared into the music room.

It was a wonder how he had not died from high blood pressure and aneurysm. Having four rude boys (Aki was _adorable, _unlike his terrible older brothers) was such a _fucking _pain in the ass. They were a diverse sort of offspring; two of his sons were musically-inclined, and the other two were obsessed with soccer. All of them possessed strong, dominant traits, same bright-colored hair, massive amounts of spiritual pressures and they were intelligent (although they refused to parade this sort of trait). They can be arrogant, pain-in-the-ass and loud, but when it comes to their mother, whom they all loved dearly— the center of their family, their beautiful supernova— the four boys behaved, and their mother would coo about her cute, little angels.

_Angels? My ass._ Ichigo snarled. _They're biased! They only respect their mother and only their mother!_

"Hey, don't burn up the house, Sakuya!" He called out to his eldest son, seeing the boy strolled towards the kitchen.

"Gah, I'm not like Okaa-san. I know how to turn off a stove, old man." Sakuya responded without looking back.

Another throbbing vein. "Hmph."

"Yo, old man, you better hurry." Yamato tossed over his shoulder, who sat in a couch.

A massive vein throbbed and exploded. _I've had enough of that smartass 'old man' remark!_

Gritting his teeth, Ichigo said, "Yamato, you're grounded for a week." The boy jumped off the seat, whirling around to ogle at his father. Ichigo grinned fiercely, enjoying the horror filling his son's face. _Hah! I rule!_ "And no red bean paste for you, as well."

Yamato, who was usually the most level-headed of all his sons, erupted. "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

"Do _I_ look like I kid, you _brat?_ Help Sakuya in the kitchen! Now!"

"Tch. Old man."

He twitched. "Do you want me to make it two weeks? And absolutely no _soccer?_" Ichigo sneered sadistically, barring his fangs.

Yamato rolled his eyes merely, muttering. "As if Oka-san will let you ground _me._" He turned to help Sakuya in the kitchen, walking past his seething father. "All I have to do is to fake cry in front of Oka-san and Oka-san will cry in front of Otou-san and _ta-dah!_ No more punishment. Tch. Otou-chan is lame like that."

Still irate, Ichigo stomped up to the stairs and down the hallway. In few seconds, he reached the master's bedroom. Orihime, her very long hair in messy bun with pencils stuck to it, was w-sitting on the bed, her back on him, humming a soft tune.

"Yay! Aki-kun, you are so pretty!"

Ichigo blinked. _Pretty? My boys are not pretty!_

"Hime?"

Orihime looked over her shoulder. She positively glowed at the sight of him. "Ichigo! Welcome home!" She greeted, smiling brightly at him. And then, she promptly turned away from him, going back to what she was working on.

"What's up?" Ichigo asked cautiously. "Where's Aki?"

"Oh, pretty Aki is here!"

_Pretty?_ Last time he checked, Aki _is _a he, therefore, he was not _pretty. _He was dense, but not stupid. He perfectly remembered that they, Ichigo and Orihime, had _sons. _Five sons, in fact. _Maybe my sons are right. There is something wrong with my wife._

"Hime… are you okay?"

"Of course, I am!" The woman chirped. "There's nothing wrong with me, Ichi! I'm fine, don't worry!" She continued happily. "Oh! _Oh!_ Aki-kun is here, Ichigo! Aki-kun, Daddy is here!" Orihime moved around the bed, holding up a bundle, clad in pink frills and white laces.

Ichigo sighed, relieved. "Good."

He blinked, and did a double take.

Pink frills… White lace?

There was a grunt from the bundle.

Round, innocent brown eyes blinked at him.

Orihime was beaming at him. Ichigo took a step back as though he was struck.

"Hime… _What the hell did you do?_" Ichigo shrieked.

Yeah, _shrieked._

**.**

Yamato smirked, hearing the high-pitched shriek.

"Serves you right, old man."

**.**

_A-A-A-A-A-A… Aki?_

Ichigo was pale in horror, gawking stupidly at his pretty wife who held their youngest _son _in her small hands by the armpits.

"Isn't Aki-kun pretty?" squealed Orihime.

_NOOOOOO!_ Ichigo screeched mentally. _My son! MY SON!_ His whole body trembled.

"H-H-H-Hime… Aki… Aki is a _boy!_ You don't go dressing up your son in pink frills and white laces!" He screeched in horror, hands shaking, wanting to take his son from Orihime's clutches.

His wife blinked at him innocently. "But Aki looks happy with _her_ new dress, new socks, new mittens and new bonnet. Look! _She_'s smiling!"

Aki gurgled, moving his small, chubby arms and legs.

_My son… will have issues someday! _He thought, staring at his son with something akin to horror, pity and heartbreak. Indeed, his youngest son, only 1 year old, needed to be saved.

"Hime… Have you forgotten? Aki is a _boy_! We have five _sons!_ We _don't_ have a daughter— _five sons _and no daughter—" he stopped rambling as soon as tears filled Orihime's large gray eyes. She bowed her head, her body quavering.

Aki blinked, now sucking on his thumb.

"Hime, look, I'm sorry I shouted. I— Er," Gingerly, he took Aki from her hands and called out for Kazuki. The third eldest son appeared and stumbled upon seeing his baby brother clad in pink dress with white laces and pink frills (and pink bonnet and pink mittens and _pink_ socks). Kazuki, grimacing in horror, immediately took his brother and dashed _far, far _away from the room. Ichigo went over to his sniffling wife, sitting on the bed and wrapping his strong arm around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Hime. I'm not angry— I'm just, uh… shocked. I—"

"Ichi!" She threw her arms around Ichigo's neck. Smiling slightly, Ichigo wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back.

"I didn't mean to shout, Orihime. Sorry—"

"I feel so alone!" She sniffed, clinging to him, her face on his chest.

"What the— _why_? You have five sons to bully — I mean to look after— and I am here. Why on earth would you feel alone?"

"No, no, _no! _Not that _way!_" She lifted her face from his chest, and Ichigo felt sorry, seeing her beautiful distress. "I am very happy, Ichi! I love you very much and our angelic children—"

_Angelic— my ass._

"…but… b-b-but… why? Why _am I the only girl in this family!_"

"What?" He blinked, arching his brows.

"Ichigo," Ichigo looked almost nervous as Orihime gripped the front of his shirt. "I want to have a daughter!"

Instantly, Ichigo went incredibly red. "W-w-w-_what?_" He sputtered.

"I want to have a baby girl! Someone I can dress up in pink, yellow, orange, purple and rainbows! A girl I can teach to sing and dance… I will dress her up in cute dresses… I will braid her hair and put flowers in her hair, too! I will teach her how to bake cupcake! I will teach her to draw her Future Self! Ichigo…" Her beautiful large gray eyes were shimmering with unshed tears as she looked up to him.

"It's so unfair… I'm the only girl! And… And… Aki… I thought after my fourth pregnancy, we're going to have a daughter… but we keep having boys!" Orihime swallowed before continuing, "It's not that I don't love our children!" She added in horror. "I love them very much, Ichigo! _I do_, believe me!"

Ichigo kissed her cheek, "I believe you, Hime." He whispered.

Orihime gave a watery smile. "It's just that… that… I… I really— I would love to have a girl with your orange hair," she ran her hands over his thick tangerine hair which she loved so much, "and your brown eyes. She's going to be so cute with your adorable scowls and bright hair…" She kept running her fingers through his hair with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Ichigo… I just… I just want… to…" Her grip on his hair tightened. Ichigo swallowed thickly. "Just one girl, Ichigo! Please! Just _one!_"

He stared at her for a full minute before replying.

"You want to have sex with me." Ichigo deadpanned.

Her face went red instantaneously. "_N-n-n-no!_"

He raised a brow, "what?"

"I mean… I… I…" Orihime stuttered, fiddling with her fingers, lowering her gaze as her blush spread down to her neck and up to her ears. Smirking, Ichigo stood up from the bed. Orihime looked up to her tall, tall husband.

"Ichigo…?" Her eyes filled her face when he began to strip, unbuttoning his button-down shirt, revealing his chest and stomach.

Ichigo watched his wife gulp, eyes feasting on his exposed flesh, most particularly on his abdominals. He was in the process of pulling down the zipper of his jeans when he stopped and leaned down to cup her chin. She jerked in surprise and stammered incoherently, nervously as her so-gray eyes bore into his burning brown irises.

"What are you waiting for?"

He felt her shudder. Her gray eyes blinked and she stammered more, words tumbling out of her plump lips. Ichigo suppressed an amused snicker when she squeaked as he leaned to whisper to her ear.

"If I let you to be on top this time, maybe we'll have a girl."

Orihime stopped sputtering, looking amazed at the possibility. Ichigo leaned back with a crooked, arrogant smirk. She beamed at him prettily and shot off the bed, arms wounding around his neck as she kissed him aggressively.

**.**

"What if… what if… we fail?" she whispered between forceful, greedy kisses.

His grip on her tangled hair tightened. He slanted his hot mouth over her swollen lips and mumbled impatiently.

"We've got to try and try again."

**.**

_he says,  
sometimes, I wonder  
if I pissed off someone Up There  
or maybe I killed a sunflower  
or ate a dolphin in my past life  
but one damn thing is for sure, I'm glad you threw up in my face. _

**.**

**.end**


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